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DON'T MAKE
UNREASONABLE DEMANDS ON YOURSELF *Important!* Don't make
unreasonable expectations about how much you will be able to get done
with a baby around the house. To expect that the house will be
clean, all your errands will get done, and that you'll have plenty of
free time to pursue other interests is only going to create
unhappiness and undue stress. Be prepared to spend *most* of
your time caring for your child(ren)!
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JOIN A
SUPPORT GROUP
Find a support network of
other mothers as soon as possible. They will provide you with a
new network of friends and people with whom you can share advice and
experience. You can find information on SAHM support groups on
this website. See Support Groups.
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JOIN A BABYSITTING CO-OP
If possible, join a neighborhood babysitting
co-op. Such an organization will allow you to meet other moms
plus give you some free time to run errands or even pamper yourself a
little during the day!
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KEEP A JOURNAL
Keep a journal of daily life with your child and include some
pictures. This period of a child's life is very short, and
believe it or not, it will begin to be very difficult to remember just
a few years later. When you and your child are older, you will
cherish the memories brought forth by such a journal.
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FORGET ABOUT
THE HOUSE
Don't worry about having a
clean house- as a new mom, you have a more important job - to take
care of your baby! When you do clean, just do a little bit at a
time. Remember, no child ever grew up saying, "I wish my
mom had spent less time with me and more time cleaning the
house!"
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KEEP YOUR
NEWBORN NEAR YOU AT NIGHT
Keep the baby in your bedroom
for the first few months.
When you have to feed the baby at night, the most you'll need
to walk is a few steps - none at all if the bassinet is next to the
bed! Some parents choose to just keep the baby in bed with them
and skip the crib altogether. (I personally found this a little
bit too constraining, however.)
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KEEP MEALS
SIMPLE
If you think you're going to be able
have lots of time to cook and serve gourmet meals now that you're a
SAHM, you are grossly overestimating the amount of distraction a new
baby will provide! Here are some ways to keep your meals very
simple and easy:
- Order take-out at least once a week, if you can afford it
- Make large meals on the weekend (such as roast turkey, pot roast,
large pans of lasagna, etc.) This will allow you to save
leftovers for additional meals.
- Buy prepackaged frozen dinners (such as stir-fry) at the grocery
store. Many of the varieties out now are tastier and healthier
than those of the past.
- Cook simple meals which take minimal time to prepare (e.g., grilled
chicken breasts with a vegetable, spaghetti & sauce, pork chops
& baked potatoes, hamburgers and tator tots.)
- You may find you have little time to prepare yourself a healthy
lunch. You can get individually prepackaged salads, cottage
cheese, etc. at the store to allow you to eat healthy *and*
fast. You can also stock up on protein bars or shakes for
nourishment when you don't really have time to prepare anything.
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ALLOW
YOURSELF SOME SPENDING MONEY
Finances will likely be tight when your family is down to only one
income. Be frugal, but you and your husband should make sure
each of you has an allowance. This will give each of you a
little bit of freedom to spend without having to stress about it or
consult your spouse.
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TAKE SOME
TIME OUT
Figure out a way to take a little time out for yourself each
day. Let your spouse watch the baby for a 1/2 hour while you
take a bubble bath, write in your journal, or go for a walk.
Other ideas - read a book, watch your favorite TV program (tape it if
necessary), or work on a scrapbook.
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CATCH Z's
WHILE YOU CAN
It is nearly impossible to get a good night's sleep with a new baby in
the house. Make sure you rest when the baby rests. You
will be in better spirits and more productive in the long run if you
allow yourself a little extra rest instead of trying to get lots of
work done when the baby sleeps.
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BE SMART
WHEN PAYING FOR BABY ITEMS
When it comes to paying for items such as baby furniture, it is
worth spending a lot on certain items such as a dresser and a quality
stroller, but a waste of money to spend a lot on other items (that can
easily be borrowed or purchased used) such as cribs, bassinets or
changing tables. When my oldest son was born, my husband
and I splurged and bought a really nice dresser for him. He is
now eight and is still using it - he'll probably even be able to take
it to college! However, when it came to the crib and changing
table, we just borrowed from friends who no longer needed
theirs. A crib/changing table are only needed for a short time,
but a dresser can last a lifetime!
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TRUST YOUR
INSTINCTS
YOU know your baby better than anyone as you carried the child and
are with it 24/7. Trust your instincts as to what is best for your
baby. If your friends, your mother, mother-in-law or anyone else gives
you advice you don't feel comfortable with, be polite but do it your
way! As for the doctor, make him/her listen to your observations, and
don't be intimidated. If you feel the doctor is not responding
properly to your concerns, get a second opinion!
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DON'T LET A
NEW BABY INTERFERE WITH YOUR MARRIAGE
Once a baby is in the house it
may seem as if finding time for adult conversation or romantic nights
alone requires too much effort and energy, but unless a couple puts
forth a concerted effort to keep the romance alive, the arrival of a
baby can mark the end of passion and the beginning of something closer
to a "sibling/best-friend" relationship. One
of the greatest gifts you can give to your children is the model of a
successful marriage - one in which both partners listen, respond to,
and support one another. Although it may seem difficult to imagine, it
is really in your child's best interest for you to set aside a little
time without your child so that you can continue to nurture your
marriage.
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| LISTEN TO
DR. LAURA ON THE RADIO
Listening to Dr. Laura's radio program can be a surprising source
of support. She is extremely "pro" for stay-at-home moms.
You'll have to get used to her style, and you may not always
agree with her, but the undaunted support and praise for SAHMs is
worth the listen!
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