My Story as a SAHM
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my name is Danielle Heskett and here is my story: I've been a SAHM for 9 1/2 years now! Wow, I never would have imagined that in my other life as a career-woman. I have three great boys, Cameron, Gregory and Zachary, who are ages 9, 6 and 1! (Click here to see pictures of my family.) The Transition Transitioning from career-woman to SAHM was very difficult for me, perhaps more difficult than for many. For one, I had always been very career oriented. I had earned two college degrees and worked full time for nearly 7 years before quitting. I started my career in accounting and earned a CPA along the way. Then I went into information systems. At the time I became pregnant with my first child, I was working as a systems analyst in a high-stress, long hours type of job at a large bank in Cleveland. I wasn't planning to quit after I had the baby, but as circumstances would have it, my husband received a job transfer during my maternity leave. I ended up having to quit my job and come to Pittsburgh with a five-week old baby. At the time we arrived, I had no friends and felt totally alone. Fortunately, we lucked out enough to move into a family-friendly neighborhood, and since we came in summer, we had the opportunity to meet some of the neighbors, many of them who were also stay-at-home moms like myself. I also took some classes at the University of Pittsburgh which was good to get me out of the house and to keep me busy at night. Those classes allowed me to complete the MBA which I had been working on for a long time. However, once I graduated, I went though a period of depression and insomnia, because I realized that I had worked so hard for a degree that wasn't being put to use. I felt that my skills in the computer area would become obsolete in no time and that my life was stagnating. I was obsessing constantly about my future, and consequently couldn't enjoy the present. The Recovery What helped me the most through this difficult period was mostly attributed to being able to join a mother's support group called MOPS (which stands for Mothers of Preschoolers). MOPS has bi-weekly meetings lasting about three hours which provide babysitting and allow the mothers to socialize, do a craft, and hear a speaker. I was very active in this group for 3 years. It allowed me to make lots of new friends and to do something important in my free time. I realized how fun and rewarding being a stay-at-home mom could be. We left Pittsburgh after 3 years. Our second son, Gregory, was 7 weeks old when we moved to Chicago. In Chicago I joined MOPS, but it wasn't as convenient to my home there. Fortunately, a friend introduced me to Mothers & More (at the time it was called FEMALE), a group which really seemed to suit me. After we left Chicago 18 months later and moved to Indianapolis, I joined a Mothers & More chapter here right away. I have been involved in the Indianapolis North M & M chapter for four years now. I have served as treasurer, co-leader and am currently publicity coordinator. I have made most of my friends here through this group and it has really been a lifesaver. This group provides the opportunity for playgroups, mom's night out, mom & child activities, picnics, holiday parties, community service, and much more. Support groups such as Mothers and More and MOPS can be, in my opinion, the difference between being a lonely SAHM and a happy and fulfilled one. Other ways in which I adapted to life as a SAHM: I joined a fitness club with a daycare center, I joined a women's bunco club for several years, I belong to a babysitting co-op, another women's group called AIW (Assn. of International Woman) and volunteer regularly at both my older sons' schools. I have also used this time to read more and to develop myself in a spiritual manner, which was something often neglected during the hectic working years. Another thing I am doing now is taking courses at the local community college and on-line to update my skills in anticipation of working again someday. |
